Saturday, February 9, 2008

It's the Year of the Rat!

It's the Year of the Rat.

That's right, the year of the rat officially begins February 7, 2008, and goes through January 25 of next year. This Year of the Rat cycle kicked off with a wonderful tribute to the strength of the modern rat during the Super Bowl, which was a super showing indeed, garnering a viewing audience of nearly 100 million, second only to the MASH series finale of 1983, which had approximately 103 million viewers.
The tribute came in the form of a Doritos commercial, in which a mafia looking guy sets a rat trap and the rat jumps through the wall and starts beating the crap out of him. What a wonderful way to welcome in the Year of the Rat.The Rat, after all, is supposed to symbolize strength.

Strength, in addition to passion and charisma. Those born in the Year of the Rat are supposed to be leaders, pioneers and conquerors. While Doritos' tribute to the Rat's strength and passion was playing during the Super Bowl, another story was making headlines that outlines the conquering and pioneering and aspect of the Rat.

In South America, the fossilised skull of a prehistoric rat the size of a modern automobile was recently unearthed. This pioneer rodent is thought to have been about 10 feet long weighing more than 2000 lbs., comparable to a modern day hippopotamus. It's rat-fangs were estimated to be more than a foot long. And as a matter of historical record, the prehistoric rat used the colossal fangs strictly for ass-kicking and devouring prey, not as compensation for anything else.

Giving tribute to the charisma and natural-born-leader aspect of the Rat in this Year of the Rat will be the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in this year's 80th Annual Academy Awards. All set to run away with the award for Animated Feature Film is Ratatouille, the story of Remy, a young rat-chef in the French countryside. Remy, no doubt, is hoping the Writers Guild of America strike will be settled soon, and we’ll actually have an Academy Award telecast in this year. This rat is begging the producers to cave in already and give the writers their percentage of hypothetical internet money so that we as a nation are spared the dismal spectacle of Ryan Seacrest reading off the names of the Oscar winners on C-Span.

And speaking of this Rat, we know he has to give tribute to some aspect of the Rat in the Year of the Rat. So what will the Desert Rat be paying homage to for the next year or so? Well, it's not all positivity in the wardrobe of rat-characteristics. According to Wikipedia.org, "Behind the smiles and charm, rats can be terribly obstinate and controlling, insisting on having things their way no matter what the cost. These people tend to have immense control of their emotions, which they may use as a tool to manipulate and exploit others, both emotionally and mentally. Rats are masters of mind games and can be very dangerous, calculative and downright cruel if the need arises. Quick-tempered and aggressive, they will not think twice about exacting revenge on those that hurt them in any way."

Paying tribute to the quick-tempered, calculative, and revenge-exacting aspect of the rat in this Year of the Rat will be the Desert Rat of the Desert Post Weekly. Known for his poignant zingers, always directed at those who have crossed him in one way or another, the Desert Rat is most recently known for calling California's February primary a "fifty million dollar waste of money that just so happens to fall in the midsts of a budget crisis."

Now if only curmudgeon Congressman Ron Paul could have won more delegates on Super Tuesday as a tribute the unique aesthetic aspect of the rat. A Ron Paul nomination would have been quite an homage to the rat's singular look in this 2008 Year of the Rat.