From the August 2 Desert Post Weekly . . .

Updated and reprinted with a sort of implied permission

A few months ago The Rat mentioned we might see the controversial tribal gaming compacts put to a referendum this February, despite the fact that they were approved by the legislature and signed into law. Under normal circumstances, that would have been enough to make it official.

But the casino workers' union and the horse racing industry have been total crybabies about the gaming expansion compact, which would bring another casino and a bunch of new slot machines to the valley, and late last week representatives from each filed paperwork with the attorney general's office to get the referendum process started.

The funny thing is, neither the hotel/casino workers union nor the owners of the racetracks are actually against the gambling part of the compact. You would think there would be groves of people lining up saying how gambling corrupts the soul and we shouldn't be making efforts to expand it and ruin more lives, but that doesn't seem to be the argument.

The union says the workers who keep the casinos in business won't have significant rights as the casinos exercise their newly appointed right to expand, and the racetracks say they want some slot machines of their own, because the casinos keep luring their gamblers away like a slot machine luring away your paycheck for the week.

Either way, this referendum could turn into a high stakes horse race of its own, as the California Tribal Business Alliance has predicted each side could spend $30 to $40 million trying to convince the voters to join their side.

The spending really began this week (September 24) as the four tribes affected by the compact launched a television ad campaign to garner support for the compacts. The commercials focus on how the compacts will bring billions into the state without having to raise taxes, and are airing in all the major markets including the Coachella Valley.

The timing of these commercials is curious for several reasons. Reason one is the ads are a bit of a preemptive strike at this point. The measure isn't even guaranteed to be headed for referendum as of yet; opponents haven't gathered enough signatures to see that happen. They have until October 8 to do so. The second reason the timing is odd is because this week marked the start of Native American Week in America. Did these tribes actually time these ads to coincide with the press the Indian community is already getting for their week of recognition? Could running these pro-casino expansion ads be their way of celebrating Native American Week?

The Rat's not a gambling man, but he'd be willing to bet the odds of that being true are better than you're likely to find at any of the local casino slot machines.

From today's Desert Post Weekly . . .

Reprinted with a sort of implied permission

Can we still find peace and quiet in October?

If there's one thing The Rat has learned after years of living in the Coachella Valley, it's to really get out and enjoy the month of October. For us full-time desert rats this is the one window, when everyone else is in transition, that we can go out and enjoy the majestic desert as though it were all ours. Without getting scorched alive, I mean.

It's a great month. People are slowly starting to come out again, like the San Jacinto black bear after a winter's hibernation. We finally get a month with no holidays, major golf or tennis tournaments, or huge film and music festivals. The kids are back in school, and only a fraction of the snowbirds have nestled into their their winter resorts for the season.

But about those snowbirds. Not to get all statistical, but does it seem like the season's mode (occurring the most often) nesting point keeps occurring earlier and earlier?

Now don't get this rat wrong, he appreciates the added snowbird revenue as much as anyone else. Snowbird taxes help fund some of the things we take for granted here, like nice roads. Nice roads for the snowbirds to continuously clog up.

I mean seriously, 45 minutes from Palm Springs to LaQuinta? It's like 12 miles!



And that's just behind the wheel. Then once you get to your destination, count on waiting in line longer than you had to a month ago. I don't care if it's drinks at the Beer Hunter or toothpaste from Ralph's, (or beer flavored toothpaste from the novelty store), the lines definitely lengthen with the coming of fall. As a word to the wise, you may want to consider familiarizing yourself with those new "self-checkout" kiosks at grocery and department stores. If you can brave the modernized technology they will certainly cut down on your newly extended wait times.

But don't expect any brakes on the prices while you're there. Those also left with the 110 degree temps. The "summer specials" we full timers have come to enjoy won't be back for another nine months, so get used to it. But keep reading the Desert Post Weekly for coupons redeemable at your favorite stores.

The early snowbirds aren't all that might ruin The Rat's peaceful October, however. The other October-spoiler is kind of like a recurring summer hangover. Thankfully it only lasts a few days. And much like an actual hangover, it's usually accompanied by irritability and a splitting headache.

The Rat's talking about lawn scalping

That's right, scalping season is upon us, leaving many people irritable and downright irate about the ridiculous practice. Any day now we can start to expect an obscene amount of pollen, dust and mold to permeate our desert air, leaving tears, runny noses and headaches in its wake.

Despite the fact that we live in a desert, the people here like to see lush lawns in front of their homes, much like the lawns they're used to seeing in Washington or Minnesota or Canada for that matter. (This illegal immigrant problem is getting way out of hand.) But the same grass can't survive 110 degree temps in the summer and overnight lows of 40 degrees in the winter, so what's a lawn lover to do?

Act like an opportunist with an extra pair of Coachella tickets and start scalping. That means grind that summer Bermuda grass down to within an inch of the ground and start spreading the winter rye.

In the process, however, even the mildest of allergy sufferers come in to work in the morning looking like they were up all night watching Terms of Endearment. It's enough to make a grown rat cry. Or at least give the impression that he's been crying with his watery eyes and runny nose.

But there is a happy medium, and that is the turf lawn. Face it people, astroturf is the wave of the future! It requires no mowing, weed-wacking, and it won't give the kids grass stains on their new clothes. So come on people, why can't we all just get a lawn? A turf lawn that is. There's no sense crying over scalped grass.

From the August 23 Desert Post Weekly . . .

Reprinted with a sort of implied permission

The Skins Game - Give it up already

The 25th annual LG Skins Game will be held in Indian Wells November 23 – 25; tickets went on sale the week of September 3. No word yet on how ticket sales are coming along, but LG and Indian Wells Golf Resort may want to hire some temps to hustle tickets on the street because The Rat is sure this will be the weakest fan turnout yet.

The Skins Game has been a fun-filled Coachella valley tradition since 1986, an off-season event not unlike the NFL's pro bowl. The event is held this year at Indian Wells Golf Resort, and is like a professional version of a Sunday morning foursome. You don't have to be a golfer to look forward to hearing who will be on that elite list every year. Will it be Tiger Woods? Annika Sorenstam? Phil Mickelson?

This year it's Stephen Ames, Zach Johnson, Fred Couples, and Brett Wetterrich, setting up the weakest four some in Skins Game history. Upon hearing this year's lineup, many non-golfers will respond by saying, "I've heard of Freddie, but who the hack are those other guys?"

Last but not least to get selected was the long hitting yet short recognized Brett Wetterrich. Wetterrich was selected after the nine golfers in front of him on last year's mvp list, otherwise known as the PGA Tour money list, declined the invitation. If Brett would have turned it down, they would have been forced to go out of the top ten to fill the spot. The fun atmosphere of The Skins Game is part of the reason fans come out to watch, but fans would much rather see Tiger and Phil having fun than Stephen Ames and Brett Wetterich.

And by "fun," we really mean "a lack of the tournament etiquette we're used to seeing at other events," as players continuously yuck it up with the gallery and their playing partners. It's commonplace to see some playful trash-talking and pros gunning for laughs as hard as they gun for birdies. It seems that fans get more enjoyment from the golfers' one-liners than golfers' one-putts, and cheer more for great punch lines than great punch shots. Who can forget Fred Funk donning a pink skirt after being out driven by Annika Soremstam in 2004 (from the same tees)?

Over the last few years The Skins Game has been falling down the slippery slope towards failure like a drunken greens keeper losing his footing on a wet fairway. In fact, that subject this year has been beaten-up worse than the last time Skins Game defending champion Stephen Ames squared off against the Tiger Woods at the Accenture Match Play Championship. (A humbled Stephen Ames: "I got my ass pummeled.")

You don't have to read past the title of this Desert Rat blog entry to see The Rat is obviously on par with the idea that The Skins Game has lost its clout. But I'd like to take it one step further by saying enough already! Let's just end it. At the pace The Skins Game is on they'll soon be extending invitations to the top dogs on the Nationwide Tour. Also, let's not forget that the good people of Indian Wells paid $1.4 million this year for the rights to The Skins Game. Now, we all know this is pocket change in Indian wells, but will they even sell enough tickets to hit the breakeven point? The venue was certainly aware Tiger would turn down the chance to play, but The Rat is certain they didn't think they would have to go as far as the relatively unknown Brett Wetterrich to fill the spot.

The committee has exercised a number of ideas to restore interest in the event. One of which was the idea to make the event women only. This was developed around the notion that "it might be better to have the best women in the world rather than a crop of mediocre men." It was also suggested that players put up their own money to raise the purse, which some of the gamblers on tour would have probably jumped at. This idea was shut down because of gambling regulations, but if passed it would have rid the event of the lackadaisical, at-times annoying (translation: fun) atmosphere that has become part of The Skins Game culture.

By failing to do something drastic to revive interest in The Skins Game, The Rat believes the committee agrees with him--They had a good run, but it's over. This is a two-day event over a holiday weekend with a meager one million dollar purse. The only thing that has kept the game's best coming back before the last few years is the tradition factor, but this tradition is fast diminishing as no names keep popping up in the pairing.

The original Skins Game in 1983 included of golf legends Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Gary Player, and Tom Watson. Maybe they should have those four come back in 2009 for what The Rat thinks will be the final Skins Game. If they can't have the best, at least they can go out with a little showmanship.

From the August 2 Desert Post Weekly . . .

Updated and reprinted with a sort of implied permission

Desert Rats on Capitol Hill

The Palm Springs International airport received a little shout-out on capitol hill last week, as the National Ait Traffic Controllers Association and others testified before congress in a House committee hearing on airport saftey.

Unfortunately this shout-out was more like a public diss, as PSP was accused of being "riddled with problems that include buildings plagued with mold, asbestos and foot-long rats," according to a recent article in The Desert Sun.

On behalf of the rats, let me just say it's not our fault the airport is in such disrepair. Sure, The Desert Rat's brethren may have found a comfortable nesting place under some old Desert Post Weeklys in an abandoned trailer at PSP, but can you blame them? What better place to nest than at the most secure area in one of the most premier vacation destinations in the country?

Although you won't find this desert rat there anytime soon. Despite the fact that attendance numbers keep rising at PSP, hearings like this one and all the studies in the last few years (some of which have placed PSP at number two most dangerous in Cali behind LAX) have this rat spooked, and grounded for now. If you do catch The Desert Rat at a Southern California airport, it will probably be one that hasn't recieved so much attention like, say, Ontario. Of course, there was the whole terrorist plot there in season five of 24.

Damn, is there anything we can do to speed up the renovations at the San Bernadino airport?

09/24/2007 - AP: San Bernadino International flights possible next year

From the September 20 Desert Post Weekly . . .

Reprinted with a sort of implied permission


With Fall comes change...

This week we celebrate the first day of fall, a time of year usually associated with change. And while we may not see very many changing leaves here in Palm Springs and California's Coachella Valley, we are seeing plenty of other changes.

Most notable is probably the change in Sheriff, which was announced this week after Riverside County Sheriff Bob Doyle unexpectedly quit the position to take a job with the state parole board. This change is creating quite a stir here in the valley, as many people are a little less than excited about three people on the board of supervisors making a decision that is normally determined by hundreds of thousands of voters. Not to mention the fact that the board's selection seems to go against the decision those voters made last year when they elected Doyle with a 73% majority. Instead of appointing Doyle's undersheriff Neil Lingle, the board has appointed someone Doyle fired earlier this year, Stan Sniff.

Apparently this board of supervisors has been harvesting bad feelings about Doyle like a Coachella Valley date farmer harvests medjools, and a vote in favor of his undersheriff would have been a vote for the status quo, according to those sups. Yes, and, in case you were wondering, that's the same status quo the supervisors' constituents approved with a 73% majority last November.

It's funny, all this chatter about how lousy Doyle was comes as a complete surprise to this rat. Which is weird, because The Rat's always looking for someone new to rip. But I guess it really doesn't matter now since Doyle's as good as gone. The Rat would've really liked to know about all of this animosity, say, LAST NOVEMBER, when Doyle was up for re-election. Where were all the Doyle-bashers then?

Three years is a long time for an appointed person to sit in an elected position, and three people on the board of supervisors certainly don't speak for the more than one million registered voters in Riverside County. Something needs to change: Let's hope the county can get its act together and organize a special election in 2008.

A uniform change to become more uniform

Another much needed change, according to a panel of tourism experts who recently assessed the valley, is the valley's view of itself. In order to attract more tourism, these experts say, the desert needs to start looking at itself as one area, not Palm Springs, Palm Desert, Indian Wells and LaQuinta.

Now this doesn't come as much of a surprise to this rat. While many of us can't tell the difference between Cat City and Rancho Mirage (about $50,000 in property value), Cat City, Rancho Mirage and the others certainly have done a good job at carving out their own identities within these arbitrarily assigned borders.

And The Rat understands why the cities have made sure to incorporate what they can and define their boundaries well. Sales tax collected in Cathedral City stays in Cathedral City, instead of sending it out to the county to be spent on, say, crappy voting machines (as is the case with Bermuda Dunes and Thousand Palms).

But we need to ban together as a single tourist destination if we're really going to take our level of attraction to the next level. After all, if people wanted to visit a desert with sectarian factions competing against each other they could just join the military.

Change could be good for our health

And the winds of change are a blowin' in the state legislature as well--Blowing around all that hot air. Usually this time of year the senators and assemblymembers are maxin' and relaxin' after the final few grueling weeks of regular session. But this year we seeing a change from the norm as the Governor has called a special session in order to continue to examine the health care reform initiative, which was rushed through the legislature and subsequently vetoed.

The special session will mean the legislature can continue to try and find a solution to the state's health care crisis, but The Rat is sticking with his usual prediction in bureaucratic situations such as this: A lot of chatter, but no actual change. The change the legislators are looking for is a medicare type system which would cover all Californians but still let us choose our own doctors.

Despite this last ditch effort, The Rat thinks you're more likely to see Schwarzenegger and the Nunez/Perata legislature out begging for change than actually changing California's broken health care system.

And if the effort actually passes, we're still not sure how it would be funded. We all might have to start begging for change to afford such an undertaking.